Last night after watching Taylor Armstrong (RHOBH) tell her story I changed my topic for today.
As her friends sat around confused as she shared very little of the abuse in her marriage, I recognized the confused and doubtful look on many of her friends faces. If you're not in it you don't get it sometimes. http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html
I grew up with a father that sexually abused my half sisters. It started at age 7 and 9 for them and continued for many years. I'm not going to elaborate on their life because it's their story to tell, but we all were affected by the abuse that took place in our home. Each of us were like Taylor walking out in the world daily with a smile on our face, and going home to a nightmare. My father was physically and mentally abusive with a gun in his hand for power. He threatened and tried to break each of us down daily. I spent most of my younger years cursing a God that I didn't believe in while trying to figure out a way to kill the man that had fathered me.
I left home at 18 leaving my sisters and mother to fight the battle on their own. The battle didn't end until the day he died; but it really didn't end that day either. You're left with years of mental crap to fix.
I found out after he passed away that most of our relatives knew what was going on, but all of them chose not to save us. The way I look at it, we weren't worth saving to them. As for us, I don't remember in the 60's and 70's being taught to tell someone, so it just became our life. Most of us kept the secret within the family until my mother passed away in 2010. I think that was done mainly for her... she deserved not to have to talk about the monster she had married.
My oldest sister just completed therapy a year ago. She was still carrying it all inside of her - her husband of several years didn't even know. I told her as long as you continue to keep the secret, he still has power over you. Don't allow anyone to have that power -If you're in any type of abuse you need to let someone know.
As her friends sat around confused as she shared very little of the abuse in her marriage, I recognized the confused and doubtful look on many of her friends faces. If you're not in it you don't get it sometimes. http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html
I grew up with a father that sexually abused my half sisters. It started at age 7 and 9 for them and continued for many years. I'm not going to elaborate on their life because it's their story to tell, but we all were affected by the abuse that took place in our home. Each of us were like Taylor walking out in the world daily with a smile on our face, and going home to a nightmare. My father was physically and mentally abusive with a gun in his hand for power. He threatened and tried to break each of us down daily. I spent most of my younger years cursing a God that I didn't believe in while trying to figure out a way to kill the man that had fathered me.
I left home at 18 leaving my sisters and mother to fight the battle on their own. The battle didn't end until the day he died; but it really didn't end that day either. You're left with years of mental crap to fix.
I found out after he passed away that most of our relatives knew what was going on, but all of them chose not to save us. The way I look at it, we weren't worth saving to them. As for us, I don't remember in the 60's and 70's being taught to tell someone, so it just became our life. Most of us kept the secret within the family until my mother passed away in 2010. I think that was done mainly for her... she deserved not to have to talk about the monster she had married.
My oldest sister just completed therapy a year ago. She was still carrying it all inside of her - her husband of several years didn't even know. I told her as long as you continue to keep the secret, he still has power over you. Don't allow anyone to have that power -If you're in any type of abuse you need to let someone know.
The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any.
~ Alice Walker ~
I know we have talked about this before, but since it was your sisters, it wasn't in my fore*memory...Last nights show was unsettling to say the least. I guess Im happy for the sake of the show that they all worked it out, for now. We lived with an alcoholic, who when finally became sober, was a nice person. Our childhoods mold us into the adults we become.... Hopefully that little girl Kennedy will get some help,too! That child needs help,it's obvious!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Kennedy is getting help...Taylor is educated enough to realize that's a necessary step. Unfortunately my mother didn't have that knowledge. I agree it was an unsettling episode, but needed to be aired.
ReplyDeleteThanks for following!