Murraytalk

As I was sorting through pictures this morning I came across pictures of my seven-year-old granddaughter with girls that she met for the first time on a 2 day stay in Prescott. I was drawn to the smiles on their faces and the love in their eyes. They met, accepted each other, and acted as if they had been lifelong friends. Oh, how I had forgotten about the innocence of a child. The color of skin, the size of a body, the structure of a face does not matter. They are ready to accept and love unconditionally until we and society teach them differently. There was nothing but smiles and laughter as they danced, made beaded jewelry, and ate. They made sure that they all were a part of whatever they were participating in. They cared about each other's feelings and made sure that everyone was having fun and was happy. Why is it that we grow to become so obsessed with appearance and behavior of others that we miss seeing the light or the struggles in others?  We're so q...

My husband and I have been planning a renewal wedding for our 40th Anniversary in 2017. As we threw around a few ideas over lunch, the number 40 stuck in my mind - that's a lot of years! I started thinking about how much growth we've had since starting this union at 18 years of age. I thought could I give 40 tips for a successful marriage if asked, probably not, but here is a list of 40 things about our marriage that keeps us going. 1. We established roles at the beginning of our marriage. It's not that we don't help each other out, but he does things like the yard, trash, the cars, and I do the inside stuff such as cooking, laundry, and keeping the house neat and tidy. Honestly, I don't remember discussing these designated roles, but we've always done it and it's worked for us. 2. We agree to disagree which is typically accomplished by changing the subject or silence. 3. We laugh at each other. I probably more at him, but we both find humor in ea...

HAPPY NATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY! Those that know me well know that I'm not big on all of these designated days, unless of course it's National Wine Day; but friendship was already on my mind before I realized what day it was. I have a small circle of friends because my friendships are extremely important to me. I value them and I never take the relationship for granted. I know that my friends are one of God's many blessings to me - I'm grateful for each and everyone of them. Here's what being my friend boils down to: There's certain expectations that I have with my friends - unspoken but known. Such as trust & honesty. I want to be able to share my life, both good and bad without worry of it being repeated. I want them to be honest with me regardless if I want to hear it or accept it. If I messed up tell me, because I'm sure going to tell you. I hate being too serious - I love having random conversations that make me laugh. I have a sense of hu...

I spent yesterday with my dear friend helping her organize her mother in laws house as we prepare for an estate sale. We had a great day laughing and talking about life as we added to our piles of her mother in laws life. Once the piles were in order and the truck filled, we were able to sit down for lunch. Our conversation this time was about her mother who has been hanging on in hospice since December. But why, we questioned. This woman was an activist, a humanitarian, always a fighter for human rights. She was tired though and had stated months before that she wanted to go home. We both had our own scenario of why she was hanging on, but both of us had no real understanding of why. It's a riddle that we will never know the answer to.  I believe that's the way God wants it, so I just walk in faith and accept that. Later that evening I received a text from my friend saying that hospice called and they didn't think her mother was going to make it. I responded with I'...

As most of you know I'm a Bravo Housewives Fan. I watch them all - it's just cheap harmless entertainment for me. Anyway, I keep thinking about the Real Housewives of Atlanta after watching it on Sunday. I've been watching it since it started in 2008 and I can't help but wonder why everyone is always in each others business. Even the men have to stick their nose in things, and to top it off, if you don't like what they're saying about you and your life they're going to work really hard to convince you that they're right. I don't have and don't want friends like that. Here's the way I see it. If you really want advice from a friend you'll ask for it, and when they give it to you it doesn't mean it's gospel - it's just their personal opinion, but since you asked for it you take what you feel is useful and throw out the rest. No one really knows your life but you. You know what brings you joy and what causes sorrow. You know w...

As I sipped my coffee and read through my emails this morning, my mind kept slipping away to thoughts of a very good friend of mine. We met when I moved to Phoenix in 1989. We have had one disagreement and lots of ups and downs that just happen to workout when one of us is going through a rough time the other has already been through it. How awesome is that! A Friend is one to whom one may pour out the contents of      one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the      gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth      keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.                                                                             - Arabian Proverb This is her rough time and I've already lived ...

I know I've talked about friendship before, but I woke up thinking about friends that are no longer in my life - friends that I truly enjoyed, but was too young to appreciate. I have always prided myself as being a good friend, but maybe I wasn't when I was younger. With age I have the people that I love in my life no matter how others may feel. I think when I was young I worried too much about everyone getting along and liking each other, so at times people were excluded. I don't worry about who gets along anymore. My friends and I make an effort to know and embrace the people that are currently important in each others lives. I've gone to many functions where my friend is the only person that I'm close to, but I'm there to support her and her friends. So don't dismiss the people that your friend loves. Also, I had friends that we talked or did something daily... that takes a lot of time and work to maintain. The reality is, time is precious to each of u...

This is a poem called A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime .                                                                       People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to t...

Urine must be in high demand these days... has anyone asked for yours?  It happened to me yesterday when a 30 year old friend of mine called to ask if she could use some of mine. My first response was, "I just peed." Secondly I said. "Can't they tell the difference in urine of a 52 year old menopausal woman and a 30 year old?" I don't know how this stuff works. As she laughed hysterically she decided I probably wasn't the best candidate. So she called a mutual friend in her 30's that was out walking in my neighborhood and would be passing by my house. Like any good friend out for their morning walk, she stopped by to pee in a huge freezer ziplock bag. (only because I was out of sandwich bags) Anyway, the urine is sitting outside ready to be picked up when I hear the doorbell. In comes my friend with the bag of urine to throw it in my microwave. Being the germaphobe that I am, I'm thinking there's not enough bleach or cleansers that will ever ...

Are you a member of the coffee club? It's not an official club,  just a group of 2 or more gathering at a specified coffee shop on any given day to sit and discuss life. I just got home from having coffee with a friend at the neighborhood AJ's. (our usual meeting place) This has become a weekly ritual with us. I was thinking about our little coffee sessions which range from 1-3 hours. It's just sitting and talking about what ever pops in to our heads. When I was working outside of my home I use to laugh at these people and wonder why they didn't have anything better to do, but now I get it. It's a great feeling to escape the daily grind and have conversations that don't have to be politically correct or so deep that you feel you need a degree in psychology... there's no judgement. We are women from different ethnic and social backgrounds... some of us have lived a privileged life, while others have had a life of struggle and despair. But when we're gathe...