Murraytalk

I made a decision last night to get off of Facebook. Lately most everything I come across is negative. I'm well aware that there's some major issues happening in the world that we're living in today, but that isn't why I'm on Facebook. I don't want to see abused people, abused animals, hungry children, or read hateful angry rants because people aren't open minded and try to control the opinions of others. Maybe I'm following the wrong people, but either way, it just wasn't feeding my soul any longer. The time had come for me to eliminate it from my life for awhile. I also made the decision to clean my camp as well. I've worked way too hard on myself to allow people to use me or play emotional games with me. Those that know me well should know that I detach easily and I trust few. I'm what happens when you grow up in a home full of lies, secrets, and broken promises - it teaches you to trust no one, and to walk away with out looking back. A...

I'm going to vent today. Last night I was on a break talking to a co-worker when I took a look at Facebook for a quick minute. What I was seeing made me think about the people that I have as friends on this social network. First of all let's be honest - most of us are not real friends. I truly have a handful of people that really know me.(family not included) I'm noticing that some that I have accepted as friends aren't really my cup of tea. For example, don't threaten that you're going to delete everyone that doesn't agree with you politically, and I see that I'm still your friend. Now I'm thinking you're a liar. Furthermore, does anyone have their own thoughts anymore? My real friends know that I'm not political - I'm about right and wrong. They also know that I don't agree just to agree - if you're my friend you respect that. I don't believe that it's acceptable to make rude and disparaging remarks about human being...

Yesterday evening my daughter was meeting someone at a Circle K to purchase a phone for one of her employees. As she was waiting she was approached by a gentleman asking if she had any spare change. She gave him change and went a step further asking him what put him on the streets. Here's what she posted on facebook after their conversation. After reading this last night I couldn't quit thinking about Chris and how he has accepted being an alcoholic. I don't know his story so maybe he had some fight in him before he decided to make the streets his home. I just can't imagine not fighting for my life. My daughter asked him if he wanted to be sober and his response was, "Nah, I'm good - not every battle ends in victory."  Maybe that's true, but I would rather say I fought hard but at this moment I feel like I'm losing the battle - I just don't think I have any fight left in me. That I can understand because we all hit a low and s...

I'm meeting an old friend of mine this morning to check out a product that her son created. I met Donya in 1989 at a church in Scottsdale. I see this tall beautiful woman waving at me through the crowd of people at the end of the service, so I waited to see what she wanted. She thought I was a  politician - I told her no, I just moved to Phoenix and I'm employed.                                                               We exchanged numbers on that Sunday and I had an interview by Monday and was working by the end of the week. She's also the one that got me involved in the industry doing commercial and extra work. She's always been my work angel. She tried talking me into doing Mrs. Black Arizona, but that's where I drew the line. She can keep that title. Donya has a Bachelor of Arts degree in Visual and Dram...

Yup, it's Monday and for me it begins with Makenna - luckily I was asleep when she was dropped off this morning so she fell asleep. Usually she stays awake and is a ball of energy from the time she gets here until bedtime. I had a really good day yesterday catching up with my niece Diana from Tucson. I moved to Phoenix when she was young so it seems like funerals and facebook have really been our only connection. We're really not that far from each other, but we hate driving from Phoenix to Tucson and vice versa. But we're both going to work on all of the family getting together more often. I'm lucky if I see my sisters and brother a couple times a year - that needs to change. Speaking of family and facebook - if you're not my friend on facebook you don't know that 2 of my granddaughters made the cheer squad at their middle school - really proud of them. Also, one of my grandsons tried out for the basketball team at his school. He's in second grade and...

I've shared with you that I have a friend that has a son that's an addict like my son. We were just talking on Friday about our sons - I was telling her how thankful I was that mine is working and seems to be on the right track. Her son recently detoxed and is seeking employment - seems to be clean. The same day I had another friend that inboxed me on facebook saying that it looked like my son was doing good and how happy she was for him. I told her I keep praying he continues to go in the right direction - after both of those conversations I've been waking up in the middle of the night with him on my mind  Sunday he came over to drop off a lawn mower and he hung out for a couple of hours. His eyes looked like he's doing something or like he hadn't slept, but with him no sleep typically means drug usage. Since he isn't living with me anymore and I only see him for a few minutes if he drops by, it's hard for me to know for sure.              ...

It's funny how you can be miles away but none of the crap in your life goes away. As you know I had my son leave my house weeks before I left for vacation, but he's been showing up since I've been gone to shower and eat. I got a phone call from my daughter saying he looks awful and he told her he's tired of being on the streets. She said she was going to let him shower while she ran to the doctor. I knew while he was there he would be on facebook - I messaged him and told him there's certain conditions for living in my house again and we would talk when I get back. He agreed so my daughter and I made the decision to let him stay.                                                                                                       ...

No one knows but you when you've had enough, and I have had enough. I knew at some point yesterday was going to turn out to be explosive because I know the pattern of an addict - at least this one.  Truthfully I was silently praying that he didn't come home for a few days or weeks because living like a prisoner in your home gets old, and it's just not fair. I don't deserve the things that he does or the words that he screams - none of us do. I was on the phone when he started and I kept signaling like you do to toddlers to be quiet when you're on the phone, but he got louder and then the front door is being slammed, my garage door being punched and him outside screaming like a crazy person. The evening ended with a broken front door, me wanting to do bodily damage to him, and us calling the police. I hate all of it! I'm done, and to most of you that sounds like I'm a horrible person, but I won't live like this anymore.  His bir...

Happy Birthday to my grandson Jaden - 9 years old today! I have 8 grandchildren and 5 children - I admit I'm the worst when it comes to remembering their ages. In fact, my sister called yesterday to ask how old Jaden was going to be; my response was 8 or 9, but I know for sure not 10. I decided I better call my son to get the correct age - he's turning 8 I was told, so I called my sister along with putting a picture of Jaden on facebook that said, " I can't believe he's going to be 8 tomorrow." This morning my son stops by and says, "Oh mom, he's 9 - I called him last night at 1am in the morning from work and said Happy Birthday, how does it feel to be 8?" Jaden said, " Dad, I'm 9." So I did my correction on facebook this morning and I now know that my son is not the go to person for ages. I always  go by the year I was born to get my correct age, or I ask one of my grandchildren. So here's to a day of family time...

Still not feeling like writing today, but I did promise myself that I would write for a year, so I am. You know how life throws you a curve ball, or the way that I look at it is the devil attacks when you're doing something positive and you take two steps forward, then suddenly you feel like you're taking three steps back. That's my life at the moment. For those of you that don't know me well, it takes quite a bit to knock me down and take me to a spot where I begin to spiral down. But, yesterday morning I woke up feeling a bit defeated. First of all, a really good friend of mine, Karen, sent me an email telling me that her husband Jerry has cancer and they've moved to Houston for treatment. She's in the medical field so knew where she needed to go for the best treatment. Jerry is now going through 3 different chemo treatments - I feel horrible and a bit useless. All I can offer her is prayer - so that's what I'm doing. Secondly, The Shutter Rele...

Boobs is what I woke up thinking that I was going to write about. I don't why I thought boobs - maybe after watching Don't Be Tardy For The Wedding and Kim talking about showing side boob in her wedding dress. What do you think about showing side boob? Anyhoo, typically I just go with what pops in my head when I sit to blog, but by the time I got to the computer I started sending out press releases for The Shutter Release Project, so now that's where my mind is...no boob story! I want to say how excited and proud I am of Eric Winfield. He had a vision and a dream that is soon to become a reality. It hasn't been an easy road getting there either. I know this because I have been working with Eric since day 1, and I know of the broken promises, the lack of support, and of those rooting for failure. Eric and I have had many discussions on the stumbling blocks that have crossed our paths, and continue to cross our paths today. But, isn't that the way the devil work...

I know I've talked about how much I hate facebook, but I reactivated it to advertise the Shutter Release Event. What's so bizarre about facebook to me is that it's like being in the mafia. You delete it, but you're never really gone. The minute I plugged in my old log in information there I was...all my friends, all my post, all my photos - I never really left the family. So I'm back! Happy Saturday...make it a good one!

I deleted my facebook months ago but I still have people asking me why. So today I'm going to tell the world. First of all, If I didn't talk to you in high school it's probably the same reason I don't need to talk to you as an adult out of high school. Secondly, no one cares that your eating a cookie, doing a jumping jack, or that you're with your boo. ( don't people have real names anymore) And for the people that their water and electricity is cut off every other month, but they're posting pictures of thousand dollar purses and shoes saying," have to have." Really, in what life time? Oh, and we can't forget the one's that have to comment on everything you post, because in their head they know it all and have done it all. I don't care where you're checking in or where you've been for that matter... don't need to see a million pictures of your baby and don't want to hear about the girlfriends you hate or the boyfriend ...