Murraytalk

For my mom, Catherine Mcguire

I mentioned in a previous blog that July is the month that my mother passed away 2 years ago, and that my thoughts would be with her more this month than usual. (you know how memories work) I have been a quote collector for many many years and hadn't put a lot of thought into this quote - it just made sense to me so I liked it, but today when I read it -  it reminded me of my mother since she didn't quite fit the description of what I would have requested for a mother, but she was what I was blessed with and she gave me life. That she didn't have to do - so I'm thankful for the gift of life and I will always love her for that. Once my mom's demons were gone we all were able to experience the real her. It's unfortunate that many years had passed before we really felt love from her, but as a parent I know she did the best that she could with what was going on in her life, and loved us with all she had. In life we have to choose to focus on the positive thi...

July is here and it takes me back to my mom in the hospital. She passed away July of 2010... I really don't think about it much, but occasionally something I see or hear reminds me of her. July is obviously going to be my yearly reminder since it's also the month of her birthday. When I think of the last minutes of her life it replays in my mind like it just happened. I still hold the vision of my sisters and I circled around her bed in Hospice offering her ice chips, asking her if she was in pain, and making small talk as she stared at us listening quietly. I remember leaning over her saying, "Mama, are you sure you're not in pain?" She looked up at me and in a low voice and mumbled, " no pain." My sister was holding her hand and stroking her head, I was reading a book on the stages of death as we continued making small talk. My sister was still holding her hand when I saw her slowly remove it and place her hand under my mother's nose. She looke...

Hospice and Treatment are consuming my mind at the moment. My husband received an email from his sister yesterday saying that hospice would be going to his parents home beginning today for his father. We all knew in our hearts that he wasn't getting better, but Hospice - my husband and I weren't prepared for that - at least I wasn't. My father in law Last night we dropped my daughter off for treatment for a minimum of 28 days. It was one of the most difficult things I have done as a parent. I'm proud of her - I know how hard it was for her to walk in that door and not turn around and walk out. She has struggled for a long time, so this is going to be a good thing for her and everyone involved. As for me, my head is full of mixed emotions - it's just too much. But, I don't let anything keep me down, I can't, or some one would end up having to work hard on getting me to function again... I know that about me. When my mother passed away I told myself I...

The closer to Mother's Day the more and more I've been thinking about my mom. This will be the 2nd Mother's day without her. We never got together and celebrated the day, but we always spoke on the phone. It's a strange feeling not to be able to do that anymore. My Mom I miss you so much, your laugh, your smile, your touch. You always brightened my days with all the smiles you sent my way. I need you as my angel to always be at my side. I need you as my angel to give me peace of mind. I like to think your near to me to know that you are there. Even though I can not see you, I feel that you are near. Please do not forget me mom, for you are always in my heart, my thoughts and prayers. I love you. ~By Shari M. Blom~ Happy Tuesday!