Murraytalk

Last week I started cleaning out one of my many file cabinets and came across a folder of poetry that I had written over twenty years ago. I had forgotten how much of my healing had come from my poems. They're a combination of Eminem and Mother Teresa depending on the day and the mood, but all of them speak my truth, and truth is what I had been searching for since I was a young child. I heard the saying, "The truth will set you free" enough times to know that I wanted that internal freedom. Although, I never received the truth that I was so eager to receive as a child from my parents and aunt, (each of them took it to their grave)  I had to accept that I would probably never know the truth of their lives. I would never know what past hurt they endured and carried that molded them into the people that they became; and maybe that's best. As Jack Nicholson said in A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!"  Probably not, so I'm good with the not ...

 My Week! Chalk Drawing Face Painting with wet chalk It's Raining! This has been a week of venue shopping, pool playing, chalk drawing, some face painting, rain playing, bubble blowing, waiting for the trash truck, and writing. I was actually able to sit and write for 4 hours yesterday and will be getting back to it after some grocery shopping and a visit to the cemetery this morning. Bubble Time! Pool Fun! Recycle Trash Day (she has to wave at him) Pool Time! Have a fun filled Saturday!

I started writing again and I'm exhausted! Whenever I write about my life I become physically drained, and now I have a massive headache to top it off. I'm not quite sure why I even attempt to do it, but whenever I pray for direction or ask what I'm suppose to do, book is the message I get. Can't Tyler Perry just meet with me so I can tell him my story - he makes a movie and we all live happily ever after. That way I get it all out and don't have to keep going to that dark place in my life. I sat in a meeting a few weeks ago with a group of drug addicts in treatment listening to their stories, the parents story , the counselor's story. All I kept thinking is I could of been a lot of things with the way my family was, but I chose not to become a drug addict or an alcoholic. I'm not saying I'm perfect - we all have skeletons in our closet, but I made a choice on what direction to go with my life - becoming a drug addict was not on my list or on the lis...