Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2015
This year is almost coming to an end, and I have to say that 2015 was not all that I thought it would be. There's been a lot of changes that transpired this year within my family that I wouldn't wish upon any family. It has broken my family in a way that I would have never thought could happen. It's been damaged to the point that I don't think we'll ever be able to go back to the way it was.
We also continue to have the addiction cloud which hangs over my family and creates storms mixed with a variety of emotions. Such as anxiety, anger, hurt, disappointment, sadness, and failure to name a few. What people need to understand is that drug/alcohol addiction does not discriminate. It's not reserved for the low income, Blacks, Mexicans, the uneducated, or even adults. People from all walks of life and a variety of ages are losing the battle of addiction, so a dialogue needs to begin so we can work towards helping and saving lives. They deserve no less - they are s…

Does Absence Make Your Heart Grow Fonder

I've been thinking about the old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder." If I actually researched the saying it was probably intended for couples separated for a length of time due to work, war, etc. many many years ago, and it probably is an accurate saying for most people. As for me, I have never believed it for the simple reason that I've experienced the opposite in regards to absence - I eventually forget. For example, if you read my blog a few days ago you know of the current situation that I'm living in now with a family member that has chose to disconnect. Of course I was hurt initially, ( I am human)  then I became angry, and now I'm at peace. I had to turn the situation over to God and continue the walk that is intended for my life at this time. As they say, " I'm too blessed to be stressed." I know as the days and months go by I won't have any reflection on this situation because that is how I operate my life. I'm not sa…

Good For My Soul

There is so much power and inspiration in this song-it make my soul feel good! Woke up thinking about it so thought I'd share.

Have an awesome weekend!

Peace, Love & Hugs!

Where Are Your Priorties

I had decided it was best not to share the happenings of my life for a bit, but lately I've had some revelations through the storm that I've been traveling so I decided to share what I've learned thus far.

I consider myself to be very intuitive, spiritual, and one that always walks in faith. Lately my faith and intuition has been tested. I was hit with a bomb which I initially reacted from my heart instead of taking a moment to process what had been said and pray for direction.
After a restless night of relentless prayer I received an answer with a different perspective. That perspective led me to make a decision to rely on my heart or trust God - I chose God which wasn't the popular choice. I have now been removed out of the life of a family member and my grandchildren. I'm not going to pretend that it's not hurtful, but I have to trust and have faith in the process. When God chooses us we might not understand His purpose, but I know that His plan for my life…

Broken

When I announced a few month ago that I was back blogging - that really was the plan. I planned on blogging three times a week. (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) Well, it's Thursday and I'm just sitting down in front of my laptop debating if I want to do this at all.
I have always been able to share pieces of my life without apprehension, but today I feel torn because of recent circumstances in my life.
I decided to go ahead and write because writing makes my soul feel better, and today my soul is hurting. Not sure if there will be more blogs in the future though - I'm taking this one day at a time.

I've lost a lot of things over my life time thus far (key word- things) but today unfortunately what I'm losing is people. People that are a huge part of my life and are suppose to stay in my life until the day that I die. The ones that are your cheerleaders, your go to people, the ones that understand and trust you, aka family. Instead, I've become a punching bag, …

I Was Wrong

This week has been a little hectic due to some changes in my life schedule. I've missed a week of seeing and spending time with my family which isn't normal for our family.
But on the upside I'm meeting new people which brings me new knowledge, and from that I shall grow, so it's a beautiful thing!

Speaking of meeting people and new knowledge, I made some prejudgments this week that I'm not proud of, but I'm human and I make wrong decisions occasionally.
This week I met several new people which some I immediately clicked with, and others I sat shaking my head in wonderment because of my first impression of them. Not first impression based on appearance, but first impression based on behavior. As the week continued I was drawn to having a real conversation with each of them because I wanted to understand the behavior that I was questioning. I learned some horrible events that had taken place recently in their life - different stories, but equally sad. I felt aw…

Fried

When you make the decision that your dream is going to become a reality in a specified time, be prepared to be exhausted through the journey.

I can't even think clearly this week because my brain is on overload, and in case you don't know, it's a 56 years old brain! I'm finishing school this week so lots of work there, and now I have school for my new job which involves a lot of memorization. I know there's others doing more, and it's all doable - I'm just tired and fried! My brain is use to me inputting useless information such as, answers to weird stuff that no one really cares about, preschool activities, song lyrics, positive quotes, and anything that you want to know about Bravo TV. Shallow you're probably whispering under your breath about now, but I really do and know more - it was just on my time. I now have to be accountable to someone else. As for Bravo, I unwind to Bravo TV in the evening as I enjoy my wine. It's just ridiculous TV that&…

Cheap Mask Because I'm Cheap!

I love the beauty industry, but I'm cheap. Not frugal...cheap! I don't like paying high prices for my skincare so I make my own products such as scrubs and masks for my beauty regimens. I want to pass on a great face mask.

Sunday evening my daughter and I decided our face was in need of some TLC so I made a face mask that consisted of two products that most of us have in our home - Knox Gelatine and milk.
You use 1 tablespoon of the unflavored Gelatine(not jello), and 1 1/2  tablespoons of milk. Mix until it's a chunky consistency and microwave for 10 - 15 seconds depending on your microwave. ( heat until warm not hot) Stir and apply quickly before it hardens. Leave on 10 -15 minutes or until you feel like you've had major Botox and smiling becomes difficult.

Now for a few warnings - 1. If you're sensitive to smells you might not want to do this. It has an odor that I can't describe other than, disgusting! But, once it begins to cool and harden the smell isn&#…

Practice Kindness

A couple of days ago I was in the Dollar Tree, and was greeted with a big smile and welcome when I entered by a young woman with cute pink hair.
As I walked around the store I over heard talking to a co-worker stating that she didn't sleep well, and was in a bad mood that she just couldn't seem to shake.
 I walked down each isle shopping tuned into her voice for some reason. I heard her greeting and having upbeat and positive conversation with every customer that she checked out. As I walked up to the register I received no different from her - she complimented and commented on a few of my purchases, and we laughed about my weaknesses and calorie intake like we had been friends for a life time. The giggles continued as she tore my receipt from the register and said, "And this is for you," with a huge smile across her face. I replied with, "And this is for you," handing her a card that my friend Sara and I hand out when we witness kindness.
As she was readi…

Books & Music

I have been reading The Inspirational Writings of Robert H. Schuller, (second series) The Be-Happy Attitudes & Be Happy You Are Loved, which has filled my mind with an abundance of new thoughts. If you're considering making changes in your life to create happiness within you - I highly recommend reading this book. It's an oldie, published in 1988, but a great one! 
Along with reading a great book I'm also a lover of music. Music became my friend and my salvation at a very young age and continues to play a huge part in my life today. As I was reading and listening to music, this song seemed to fall in line with where my thoughts were - it fed my soul and is my inspiration for today!  I hope it brings some comfort to you in whatever you're facing today.
Peace, Love, & Hugs!

Life Threw Me Some Lemons

I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th of July weekend!

I learned a few new life lessons over the weekend, which is proof that age doesn't allot us the wisdom to handle some of life's storms. I had to acknowledge and accept that some families are just broken, and some people just don't want your help. Some people have an image of you that you didn't know you portrayed, which in turn leaves them to have a misconception of you no matter what growth or changes that you've made in your life.
I can't fix what I didn't know was broken, and I can't change the thoughts in the minds of others. Furthermore, I can't force change upon anyone but myself, and that is something I do daily. I don't ever want to become stagnate.

Families break up when people take hints you don't intend and miss hints you do intend.
Robert Frost

I'm a product of a broken screwed up mess of a family, so I never wanted that for my immediate family. But I am not God, and I&…

My First 4th Of July in Phoenix

As I was shopping for my little fourth of July gathering tomorrow I started thinking about my first year of celebrating the 4th in Phoenix.

It was 1989 and we moved from Tucson to the big city. As silly as it seems it was a culture shock for me even though I was less than 200 miles away from my old stomping grounds. It was a whole new ball game in Phoenix - difficult meeting people, everyone rushing, few mom and pops businesses, not so friendly people, and lots of traffic. Anyway, we decided to take the kids to one of the big 4th celebrations at Wesley Bolin Plaza.

 On our drive home they all needed the bathroom, so needless to say the argument was who would be first to the toilet. My daughter Melissa jumped out of the car as soon as we pulled in the driveway and begin ringing the doorbell - little did we know that signaled the robber inside that we had arrived. My husband opened the door and I noticed his shot gun in the entry way. I asked him why he left his gun laying around like …

I Took The Plunge!

I took the plunge and in a couple of weeks I will have to be accountable for my time by working for someone other than myself. I'm excited to get out of my comfort zone! (the comfort of my home) But I'm more excited by the idea of a regular income on my part because as an entrepreneur it's a feast or famine life at times.

 My husband asked me if I was excited to begin working. I said, "Of course, I love being a slave to the man." Don't start emailing me because I used the word slave - I'm just being honest with what I said. I'll rephrase it by saying, Of course, I love being a worker to the man. Better?



It's been many many years since I interviewed for a job so I hadn't experienced a background check or a drug/alcohol test in my life. As I sat patiently in the facility for my alcohol/drug test (3 hours) I began to question how much I really wanted a job, but I stayed and considered inquiring about a position since no one seemed to understand…

I'm Addicted to...

Happy Monday!

I had a nice quiet boring weekend. I'm beginning to think that I'm so use to functioning when chaos and busyness are consuming my life, that I drive myself crazy when there's not a fire to put out or million things to get done. What the hell is my problem? When everything is crazy I'm praying for some calmness, and when the storm has seized, I'm praying for something to keep me busy.



I honestly think that I'm addicted to being busy; which is partly why I drink a glass of wine in the evening. (partly) I'm forced to sit since I always spill on myself and everything I pass when I try to multitask with it in my hand. (red wine stains are a pain to get out)
 I decided it's time for me to reprogram my mind just a bit. I don't want to become sedentary, but I do want to enjoy relaxing. I don't believe it should feel like a chore. As I thought of myself trying to slow down and smell the roses, I couldn't help but think of kids today. …

Talking Kindness

I was talking to my granddaughter about kindness the beginning of this week...thought I'd share what a five year old thinks about it.

Peace, Love & Hugs!

Be Careful...

Everyone that knows me well understands why I love quotes. I truly believe that quotes can work for healing and change, but you have to be aware with what you're feeding your mind.

You shouldn't buy into all of the messages, remember anyone can create a quote - I do it all the time! I'm beginning to have issues with quite a few that I've been reading lately because there unrealistic. I'm an optimist, but I'm also a realist. Realistically the grass isn't always greener, we all don't get to work our passion, people love the best that they know how, you can't have everything you want out of life, sometimes if you let people go they don't come back - not because it wasn't meant to be, sometimes people just move on with their life. YOLO (widely over used) doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want and whatever makes you happy, you should have to say your sorry, and sometimes you should have regrets...you get where I'm going with this. …

You're Beautifully Created

So much on my mind today, but I'm going to focus on insecurity. in·se·cu·ri·ty
ˌinsəˈkyo͝orədē/
noun
1.
uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
"she had a deep sense of insecurity"
synonyms:lack of confidence, self-doubt, diffidence, unassertiveness, timidity, uncertainty, nervousness, inhibition;

I've had a few sessions lately that saddens me. I wish people would learn to value themselves so they can accept themselves as they are - not by comparison. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, funnier, making more money, more adventurous, etc. - this has nothing to do with you. You have to learn to value who you are - treat yourself like your best friend!
Also, learn to use empowering words when describing/speaking to others about yourself. 
You are beautifully and wonderfully made - remember that!  Genesis 1:27, “God created man in his own image...male and female he created them.”
Start today by taking baby steps towards loving and valuing th…

Don't Expect Anything If You Suck

Father's Day is just a few days away!



Yesterday I took two of my grandchildren to do a a few Fathers Day projects at my friends Homespun Preschool. http://homespunmakeittakeitcrafts.blogspot.com/ As we were working with them it dawned on us that a few of the children (including mine) don't have a father active in their life. So why not make it for their mothers was our thought. In today's society there are moms playing the role of both, and vise versa, and there are some that don't deserve the father or mother title. So do we really need to have a specific day honoring either one?

There are so many children that haven't met their dads, or their dads are just not active in their life. It's difficult for them to understand and hard to explain. I know this for a fact because I have my 5 year old granddaughter asking where dad is all the time. Thankfully she's blessed with other male figures in her life that have stepped in to try and fill that void, but it…

Is The Word Bitch Working For You

I'm going to begin by saying that Scotland's National Animal is a Unicorn! This has nothing to do with my blog, but I didn't know that and I think it's awesome so I had to share! I can guarantee when I share this information with my five year old granddaughter she's going to want to move to Scotland with her rainbow car she says she getting.

Now what I was going to blog about doesn't seem appropriate with cute unicorns looking down, but its been on my mind so I'm just going to vent a little. I'm not sure if it's because I had this discussion with a friend a couple of weeks ago that I'm noticing it more than usual, but why are women and girls calling each other bitches? I'm hearing it on television, I see it on quotes, you can take online quizzes to see how much of a bitch you are, or if you're a basic bitch. Why? When did all of this become acceptable? It's not okay. I don't care what context you're using it because if you&#…

Puppy Issues

Check up and shot day for new pup this morning!

She was being a little defiant this morning when it was time to go. She was napping so she wasn't the least bit interested in getting up for her visit. Here's a visual for you...I have the leash on her she's on her back and refuses to walk (like a two year old child) so I'm walking and she's being dragged, and she's okay with that. Once we get to the car she refuses to jump in - I'm trying to pick her up and she's going to try rolling on her back again. In my mean mom voice I say sternly, "Get in the car now LJ!" I ended up picking her up( feeling like my wrists are going to snap) and placed her in the car. Oh, but it's not over! She now needs to get out of the car, which of course she refuses. At this point I've forgotten that she's a dog and I'm standing outside of the car saying, " You need to get out of this car right now! I don't have time for this behavior - DO YOU…

My Ah-Ha Moment

This inspirational quote was sent to me a few weeks ago. I loved the message so I saved it, but I didn't put too much thought into it until I had an Ah -ha moment after a meditation.

It was last week and I was feeling overwhelmed dealing with a family member. I tried having a conversation offering guidance and expressing my concerns, but the response that I received was, "You're not my life coach - I didn't hire you." Okay, fair enough I thought, so I shut myself in my bedroom to do a meditation assignment. I honestly didn't think I would be able to focus, but I needed to create some peace within myself since I don't function well with chaos, and I was hoping for some clarity on this situation.

Surprisingly, the meditation allowed me to release all the anxiety that I was feeling; so during that relaxed state I prayed for a message on what to do. Towards the end of the medication you were asked to visualize a huge white canvas and create whatever comes to…

rEVOLution

There is so much focus today in the world on negativity. Bringing awareness to negative acts can be necessary, however, to keep a focus on negativity doesn't bring a solution. We want to bring and create an uprising of kindness and awareness to individuals who go out of their way to be kind. We want to acknowledge their greatness by sharing a business card we designed that simply thanks them for the kind act we witnessed. People use social media to share all the negativity, we want to share these cards and sow seeds of kindness in the community. You can follow us on our social media sites:
Twitter: @upkindrEVOL Instagram: Uprising Kindness Facebook: Uprising of KindneSs

My Ministry

Yesterday was baby shower day for my daughter! It was a great time with friends and family. I'm so thankful for my Tucson family that always manages to join our family gatherings. Thank you!

 I sustain myself with the love of family.
-Maya Angelou

It will be the tenth grandchild for my husband and I -which is leading me to believe the pastor that pulled me out of a crowd 26 years ago to tell me that I was going to have a ministry of children was correct. Looking back at my life I now tend to think that perhaps his prophecy was right on track since I seem to always have a ministry of children closely connected to me on my journey. I would have never guessed this would be my life, but I'm thankful for all the young souls that I've touched. For me that's what life is all about - touching lives and leaving an imprint on their hearts.


Peace, Love & Hugs!



We Deceive Ourselves

I spent today running around gathering items for a baby shower that we're hosting for my eldest daughter this weekend. (Tenth grandchild coming soon) It was during this time that I started thinking about how precious our moments in life really are. I believe most of us live each day as if we're guaranteed of tomorrow. I faithfully thank God every morning for another day, but I really never embrace all of my moments that I'm blessed with. I just assume that there will be another time - which is probably the healthy thing to do because I can't imagine each day thinking this will be the day of my demise. I do think though that there's something to be said about the saying, live each day as if it was your last.

I'm going to put more effort into my days being filled with moments that create memories for myself and for the people that are a part of my life. I want memories that last up until my mind can no longer hold on to them, but ones that will live in my heart …

What's A Hero

Hero
A hero or heroine is a person or character who, in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, displays courage or self-sacrifice—that is, heroism—for some greater good. Wikipedia


I thought about the definition of a hero when I read that ESPN is receiving criticism for making Caitlyn Jenner the recipient of the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPY Awards. Many are saying that ESPN is just chasing the trend and that Lauren Hill should get the award. I'm not going to give my opinion on this, it just got me thinking of what my definition of a hero is.

I have people in my life that I would classify as a hero because of what they've endured, and how they survived. Some of my heroes have taken a stand to correct some of the wrongs in our society. They are loyal, kind, have good morals, and are brave. My heroes come in all genders, ages, colors, sizes, and economic backgrounds. In all honesty, I believe that most of us are a hero in the eyes of someone. I a…

Time To Leave The Nest

Yesterday was 38 years of marriage for me. If we're friends on Facebook or Instagram I know you saw this selfie of us. Thank you everyone for all of the well wishes and nice thoughts that you sent our way. We are truly blessed!
Several people have stated they can't believe we've been together that long, but for us it doesn't seem like that many years have gone by. We just live in the moment taking each day as it comes.

I wish I could say that our weekend was all about our anniversary, but that's not how life works for us. We always have a situation that greets us. For example, we went out to dinner Saturday evening to celebrate - when we got home I went out to the side yard and I noticed that my door that enters into the garage was off and just leaning to give the allusion that it was closed. So now we get to play the what's missing game. This is our life!  There's always a bump in the road because we are always dealing with a relapse in our family.

I can …

Promotion Day!

I had a Great morning attending my granddaughters eighth grade promotion. She looked gorgeous as usual and was displaying her million dollar smile as always. We are all so proud of her accomplishments thus far.

Unfortunately, I have a couple of annoying things that took place that I feel the need to get off my chest. The promotion took place in the gymnasium so it was tight seating to say the least. I was fine with the woman that brought her stadium seat with the pouch on the back that forced me to sit sideways, and I tolerated the two very young children that kicked me in the head and arm during the entire promotion. But, the family of these little blessings had party favors that they continued to blow in my ears as they screamed non stop to a child that I'm almost positive couldn't hear them. Along with the screaming one of the women managed to kick the flowers I brought for my granddaughter each time she blew her horn. I decided to take action by asking the woman in the sta…

Do You Value Yourself

Loss

I spent yesterday with my dear friend helping her organize her mother in laws house as we prepare for an estate sale. We had a great day laughing and talking about life as we added to our piles of her mother in laws life. Once the piles were in order and the truck filled, we were able to sit down for lunch. Our conversation this time was about her mother who has been hanging on in hospice since December. But why, we questioned. This woman was an activist, a humanitarian, always a fighter for human rights. She was tired though and had stated months before that she wanted to go home. We both had our own scenario of why she was hanging on, but both of us had no real understanding of why. It's a riddle that we will never know the answer to.  I believe that's the way God wants it, so I just walk in faith and accept that.

Later that evening I received a text from my friend saying that hospice called and they didn't think her mother was going to make it. I responded with I'm…

Piles in Life

My dear friend lost her mother in law a few months ago. I met up with her last weekend to help her clean out her house so it can be put up for sale. First of all, I fell in love with the house from the moment I pulled up. I could feel the energy that this home held, from family gatherings to neighbors passing by. It's the kind of house that you want to drink coffee on the front porch in the morning sitting on one of the rockers, and drink lemonade in the afternoon on the porch swing. It has all the charm of country living even though you're in the city. I fell in love with it!

As we started going through items in her bedroom and bathroom creating a pile for Goodwill, one for an estate sale, a trash pile, and a take home stack, I started thinking this is what the end of our life is really like. There's family members that are forced to make decisions on what to dispose of and what to keep. All of the things that you worked for and love go in one of the piles upon your demi…

I'm Back!

When I sayI'm backthe next thing that pops into my head is, that's why they call me Slim Shady, but on a serious note, I'm back to blogging. Girl say hallelujah! Okay, enough of all the lyrics in my head.

The reason that I quit blogging for a bit is because life happened. I was taking care of my granddaughter and a newborn grandson. I was still dealing with the ups and downs of having an addict in my home, and fighting battles that weren't really mine to fight. There was still a lot going on and plenty to say in the Murraytalk world, but my inner Murray had to stop and listen for awhile. I needed time to pray, meditate, and reflect on my life. I'm a fixer, and I knew that I needed to stop trying to fix. Things may not be the way I want, but everyone is walking their own journey and all I can do is pray that they're safe, and that they learn the lessons along the way. So I  changed my priorities and worked on what was best for me - I owed it to myself.

During m…

Racism In My Neighborhood

I seldom talk about racism, but today I need to vent because an incident occurred that is ridiculous to me considering it's 2015.

Let me begin by saying that I am bi-racial. Native American, Black, Mexican, and European. Apparently I have an exotic enough look that most people aren't sure what nationality I am, but it's obvious that I'm not Caucasian. I did marry a man that is Caucasian so of course my children are bi-racial as well. One other thing that should be noted before I begin to vent is that I started school in the 60's and have no memory of racism being directed at me.
 Now time to vent..I live in a neighborhood that is predominately Caucasian, which of course makes the schools in the area not racially balanced. I remember going to the elementary school that I'm speaking of to register my children several years ago and the secretary asking me several times if I was sure that I lived in the neighborhood. (I am intelligent enough to know where I live) …

Lip Sync Battle with Joseph Gordon Levitt, Stephen Merchant and Jimmy Fa...

I just came across this - love it!

My Prayer List

The past few years I've written a prayer list that I pray off of daily. Last night I pulled out my 2014 prayer list and read through it before tossing it. All though several of my prayers had been answered, I was extremely happy and excited  that my good friend that I had been praying for her finances was answered. In December she inherited a good sum of money. I couldn't wait to text her and tell her about my prayer list and remind her of how good God is. It was a good reminder for me as well since during my life journey I sometimes feel that my prayers aren't  heard or relevant enough to receive answers. I was over joyed to be reminded that this is not the case.
It restored more faith in me and reminded me of His promise.

I have started a new list for 2015 and can't wait to witness the answered prayers. I love writing down what and whom I'm praying for because the results are such a blessing for me.

Peace, Love, & Hugs!

Time For A Change

It's day two of 2015 and I'm feeling the need to clean out my life. I am beyond tired of certain people and I can't continue the pretense. I don't have the personality that allows people to walk over me, nor do I typically entertain toxic people for more than a few months if I see no change coming their way. But certain circumstances had placed me in a position where I couldn't really voice my truth, but the time has come for it all to end - my season has ended.

 My mental list of things that annoy me has grown so I have to rid of them in order to have a clear mind and peace within me. I don't feel centered right now so it causes me a bit of anxiety. When there's constant negativity brought into my life it becomes toxic quick for me. I grew up with that shit and have no intentions of re-living it. Plus I'm sure my family will be pleased that I've decided to clean house so to speak since I tend to drop the "F" bomb more than anyone should …