Skip to main content

My Gut

I've always listened to my gut. It has never steered me wrong, but this time I chose to ignore it.

I guess I was hoping my instincts were wrong. I wasn't up to another storm in my life, but here I go again.



I don't know the right words to say because I don't understand the battle. I've had a lot of shit come my way in life, but it never pushed me to becoming an addict. It's difficult for me to understand the time and energy put into fixing oneself  to not fight hard enough to stay there. Not every day will be a good day - that's life, but you can't allow the bad days to take you back to that dark place you fought so hard to get out of.


As selfish as it sounds I'm not sure I want to fight this war again. It's really not my fight anyway, but I have been enlisted because of the people that will be effected from the choices that were made. I now have to make a choice if I suit up or walk away. I hope it's short lived, but either way I do know that this battle will not take place in my home. 

All I can do for me is keep the faith and keep moving forward in my life.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Seek

Happiness

Lies and Secrets

I don't want to say that I work really hard to be a good person, because that would imply that's not the true essence of who I am. The way I live my life is simple - honesty, loyalty, trust, and prayer. If you live your life based on lies, I don't trust anything that you say or do. It's a personal thing. When you grow up in an environment based on secrets and lies, you value and respect honesty. I had the honesty conversation with one of my granddaughters last night when my grandson blurted out some things that are going on in their home. Immediately my granddaughter reprimanded him stating that they're not suppose to tell people their parents business. I'm not going to lie, when she said that to him, the flashbacks started coming. I calmly explained to her that adults should never ask children to keep their secrets or lies, and if they live in fear of their business being told, maybe they should be living their life right, because I'm good with people