I've always listened to my gut. It has never steered me wrong, but this time I chose to ignore it.
I guess I was hoping my instincts were wrong. I wasn't up to another storm in my life, but here I go again.
I don't know the right words to say because I don't understand the battle. I've had a lot of shit come my way in life, but it never pushed me to becoming an addict. It's difficult for me to understand the time and energy put into fixing oneself to not fight hard enough to stay there. Not every day will be a good day - that's life, but you can't allow the bad days to take you back to that dark place you fought so hard to get out of.
I guess I was hoping my instincts were wrong. I wasn't up to another storm in my life, but here I go again.
I don't know the right words to say because I don't understand the battle. I've had a lot of shit come my way in life, but it never pushed me to becoming an addict. It's difficult for me to understand the time and energy put into fixing oneself to not fight hard enough to stay there. Not every day will be a good day - that's life, but you can't allow the bad days to take you back to that dark place you fought so hard to get out of.
As selfish as it sounds I'm not sure I want to fight this war again. It's really not my fight anyway, but I have been enlisted because of the people that will be effected from the choices that were made. I now have to make a choice if I suit up or walk away. I hope it's short lived, but either way I do know that this battle will not take place in my home.
All I can do for me is keep the faith and keep moving forward in my life.
Comments
Post a Comment