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Gymnastics & Night Wrestling in Bed

Oh What A Night!

My husband and I need new pillows desperately, but neither of us go out shopping for them. Did I mention that I'm overly frugal? For example, one of my husband's pillow (was a feather pillow) is completely flat - I told him to just fold it in half and it's like new again, but after last night, I decided it's pillow shopping time!

 I believe I fell asleep fairly early and think I was sleeping pretty good when my husband started his tossing and turning. It's not a smooth roll over gently type of turn. I don't open my eyes but I'm pretty sure he somehow elevates his body while turning sideways and drops. Thank God I don't have a waterbed anymore - I would be ejected out of the bed.  This goes on all night with the fighting of the pillows - punching them to fluff, throwing them on the floor, picking them up, punching them again...you get the picture. So as this is going on with him I'm having night sweats. I'm kicking the covers off, lifting my t-shirt to cool off my stomach, rolling up my pajama bottoms to get air on my legs, pulling my hair up and fanning myself. We're both tossing and turning, kicking and punching - it's like we're in a frickin wrestling match or a bad Kung Fu movie, but with no contact. While all of this movement is going on we never speak to each other - it's like we don't want to wake each other as he's beating the hell out of the pillows and I'm rehearsing a strip- tease act.

I finally fall back to sleep and once again I think I'm sleeping pretty good - I open my eyes to my husband standing at the foot of the bed on my side with his flashlight on his iphone pointing in my direction. So being the the loving wife that I am, I say, "What the hell are you doing, you creeper!" He replies, "I heard something fall, didn't you hear it?"  A big fat NO to that question, I was sleeping!                                            

So now I'm awake and sweating again like I'm running a marathon. I'm fighting with the covers, wanting to take a razor to my Afro, and he's tossing like he jumping over the pommel horse in a gymnastic tournament. I have visions of  his arms flinging up in a V formation as he lands on his flat pillow.


Why do we even bother going to bed at night?

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