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Chaotic Life

I'm torn on what I want to talk about this morning since I have a few things on my mind. But what I'm thinking about at this moment is my son moving back to Phoenix over the weekend.

If you have read some of my previous blogs you know that my son's biological mother did drugs during her pregnancy and my son was born drug addicted. It has been a roller coaster ride for all involved for many years now.

On January 1st he moved to Tucson so I thought maybe he had finally hit rock bottom, had an epiphany, or maybe he had just had enough. All that mattered was that he had removed himself from a toxic environment and was going to change. Although his initial intention may have been to get it all together, something changed. Unfortunately, that means it has changed for each of us. The lies, items getting stolen from the house, mood swings, no job or motivation to get one, and broken promise after broken promise. Every drug addict or alcoholic that I know all have the same stories about what they're going to do, same lies and excuses. It's just each addict has a different cast of people sucked in their mess. I know it sounds as if I'm a bitter pessimist with no faith in change, and as awful as it sounds, I sleep at night too. I know that I can't fix or change people. I am always willing to try to help, but I can't get so self absorbed in his chaotic life that I begin to lose who I am. All that I can do is turn it over to a higher source... someone with the power to change people. So, I pray.

I find this quote to be interesting considering who wrote it... look where it got him. Like I said, an addict always has a great story to tell.

“Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self esteem.” 
― Kurt Cobain

A "snapshot" feature in USA Today listed the five greatest concerns parents and teachers had about children in the '50s: talking out of turn, chewing gum in class, doing homework, stepping out of line, cleaning their rooms. Then it listed the five top concerns of parents today: drug addiction, teenage pregnancy, suicide and homicide, gang violence, anorexia and bulimia. We can also add AIDS, poverty, and homelessness. . . . Between my own childhood and the advent of my motherhood—one short generation—the culture had gone completely mad. 
Mary Kay Blakely, special concerns of modern families | families in transition


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