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July Memories

July is here and it takes me back to my mom in the hospital.

She passed away July of 2010... I really don't think about it much, but occasionally something I see or hear reminds me of her. July is obviously going to be my yearly reminder since it's also the month of her birthday.

When I think of the last minutes of her life it replays in my mind like it just happened. I still hold the vision of my sisters and I circled around her bed in Hospice offering her ice chips, asking her if she was in pain, and making small talk as she stared at us listening quietly. I remember leaning over her saying, "Mama, are you sure you're not in pain?" She looked up at me and in a low voice and mumbled, " no pain." My sister was holding her hand and stroking her head, I was reading a book on the stages of death as we continued making small talk. My sister was still holding her hand when I saw her slowly remove it and place her hand under my mother's nose. She looked over at my sister and I and said, "I don't feel her breathing... I think she's gone."

One by one we kissed her forehead, told her we loved her and said goodbye before we notified those in the waiting room and the others by phone.

My thought was what a peaceful and beautiful death - I can only pray for the same.

So this month for me will consist of memories of the woman that gave me life - she will always be missed.

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