Skip to main content

Get Your Happy

"It is only possible to live happily-ever-after
on a day-to-day basis"
-Margaret Bonnano

I mentioned in my blog last week that there was only one time in my life that I couldn't fake a smile or climb out of the dark hole that I had fallen into. It was one time because from that experience I realized that happiness was something that I had to cultivate on a daily basis. It wasn't possible for me to live years of dysfunction and live happily ever after by walking out the door of my childhood home. I didn't want to keep reflecting on any misfortunes that had occurred in my past. I had come far enough and had acknowledged that stuff happens to everyone. I knew that my experience was nothing in comparison to what others endure. I'm not giving my parents a get out of jail card for situations that should have never happened. I just needed to move past it so I could close all of my open wounds and become a happy being.

"The word 'happiness' would lose its meaning if it were
not balanced by sadness."
-Carl Jumg

I still had days that I felt like a boulder had landed on me, but I had to remind myself that this is the reality of life for everyone, and I was still healing. It's only natural that I would crash into some rocks on the ride. In fact, I'm always going to have a day that I hit some rocks regardless of how healed or happy I am. I just have to stay focused on what I want for me on that particular day. I know what I don't want is to ever again feel like I want to die; so I stay focused on all the good in my life, even in those struggling years. And, I'm thankful.

I had spent too many years focusing on what ifs, on escaping, and hating that I had lost sight of all of the greatness that had also been a huge part of my life. I grew up with shelter, food, great health, amazing friends in school, awesome co-workers, and incredible opportunities that seemed to always come my way. I now had a marriage and healthy children. I stopped giving power to my past hurts by not reflecting on them every time my life shook a little. I had to let the past go in order to find my happy.

It's easy to say that we want happiness, but a whole other thing to be happy. We have to recognize that it's up to us to create our happiness - lose the thought that someone else will fill that need. If you want it you have to choose it. Make your thoughts become a garden that you cultivate with beauty, goodness, and graciousness. I had to quit looking at the weeds that were in my soul to see how beautiful my garden really was. 

I know by now several of you are tired of me talking about happiness. Before I really became a happy person I couldn't stand happy people either. I would dissect every single one of them that crossed my path. You know them...the checker that is way too nice and cheerful as she's ringing up your groceries. The crossing guard that smiles and waves as you pass by. The aerobics instructor that is way too bouncy and bubbly. Oh, and lets not forget the huggers - I hated them! (still not a hugger lover) But, when I became happy, I got it. They had found their happy, and happiness is its own reward.

Peace, Love, & Hugs!


Popular posts from this blog

Have An Open Heart

As I was sorting through pictures this morning I came across pictures of my seven-year-old granddaughter with girls that she met for the first time on a 2 day stay in Prescott. I was drawn to the smiles on their faces and the love in their eyes. They met, accepted each other, and acted as if they had been lifelong friends. Oh, how I had forgotten about the innocence of a child. The color of skin, the size of a body, the structure of a face does not matter. They are ready to accept and love unconditionally until we and society teach them differently.

There was nothing but smiles and laughter as they danced, made beaded jewelry, and ate. They made sure that they all were a part of whatever they were participating in. They cared about each other's feelings and made sure that everyone was having fun and was happy. Why is it that we grow to become so obsessed with appearance and behavior of others that we miss seeing the light or the struggles in others?  We're so quick to judge b…


Yesterday I went in for my hair consultation for my locs. It's a little overwhelming trying to decide the size of locs, but this is what I decided.

Tuesday is the big day and I can't wait!

It's interesting though the responses I get from people when I say that I'm getting locs. I've gotten everything from that's interesting to don't you just let your hair get really dirty and don't comb it?

I'm well aware of how most of the world stereotypes black women by their hair. I think I've shared in past blogs how people approach me or don't approach me depending on the style of my hair.

I decided a few years ago that natural was going to be it for me. No more chemical relaxers and no flatiron on my hair daily - I'm just going to do me and people can make all the prejudgements that they want. If you're going to make a decision about me based on my hair I don't want you in my life anyway.      

I decided to grow my hair out due to a bad h…