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Do I Really Want To Know...


I've been busy doing my thing in life when suddenly the urge to find out information regarding what percentage of Indian I am and what tribe I came from was consuming my thoughts. I know very little about my family history and never had too much interest in it, but lately its been on my mind along with some interesting events that tie in with it all.

I called a lab in Tempe a few weeks ago for testing - that weekend I received a call from my cousin in DC. He started the conversation by telling me family last names that I wasn't aware of, and asked if I knew that my grandmother on my fathers side was part Indian. I thought his timing was a bit interesting so I spoke to my niece about it - we both came to the conclusion that God has a plan. What the plan is I haven't figured out yet, but I definitely believe it's His doing. Furthermore, on Tuesday this week I received a phone call from my sister in LA. Its probably been 12 years since we spoke so the call was definitely a surprise. She had attended a family reunion and learned of some family names that we weren't aware of. We joked as usual on how we could never date anyone in the state of California because we're probably related to them, and talked about her mother turning 100 this month. I said, "Shes the one that has all the answers to our family secrets." After hanging up I started questioning how much do I really want to know, but I've come to the conclusion that God wants me to know it all. I have this feeling inside of me that is similar to anxiety and I can't shake it. All I can think of is that I must be strong enough now to know the truth - so my days have been filled with hours of research. "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."-Friedrich Nietzsche  
So here's to new strength...wish me luck!

Peace, love, & hugs!



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