The past few weeks I've been sorting through my many tubs of pictures. As I was going through them I came across a checkbook style booklet that belonged to my mother. I had no memory of looking through it before. As I sat and thumbed through it I came across a yellow and fragile bible verse that she had carefully tore out so every word was readable. The verse was about the evil in the world.
Seeing this triggered an explosion of emotions in me. I couldn't help but think that she must have thought her life was intended to be ruled by evil; that this was just the way of the world. It gave me a better understanding of why she turned a blind eye to things that she should have confronted, but saddened me to think that she didn't feel or believe that she was worthy of a better life.
I don't believe anyone ever told her that she could clean up her mistakes; that she deserved more, and could have more. Instead she just lived life with the way it was; never fighting for change. Did she ever hope or dream of a better life? In my heart I don't believe so. She never faced the monsters that reminded her of the past and placed fear in her - she just accepted the heartaches.
I will never forget when my mother first became ill she was so fearful of death. She asked if she was going to Hell because she had done bad things in her past. I can't imagine in my 80's still carrying fear of my past mistakes, but her heart and soul had been broken, and she carried the guilt. You can't allow the thoughts from the past to control your future.
We need to take charge of our thoughts and throw away what doesn't feed our soul. The thoughts in our mind need our permission to be true. She allowed all the lies to become her truth, not knowing that she deserved more, or that her blessings were far greater than the burdens that she carried.
You must get your mind right!
Peace, love & hugs!
Seeing this triggered an explosion of emotions in me. I couldn't help but think that she must have thought her life was intended to be ruled by evil; that this was just the way of the world. It gave me a better understanding of why she turned a blind eye to things that she should have confronted, but saddened me to think that she didn't feel or believe that she was worthy of a better life.
I don't believe anyone ever told her that she could clean up her mistakes; that she deserved more, and could have more. Instead she just lived life with the way it was; never fighting for change. Did she ever hope or dream of a better life? In my heart I don't believe so. She never faced the monsters that reminded her of the past and placed fear in her - she just accepted the heartaches.
I will never forget when my mother first became ill she was so fearful of death. She asked if she was going to Hell because she had done bad things in her past. I can't imagine in my 80's still carrying fear of my past mistakes, but her heart and soul had been broken, and she carried the guilt. You can't allow the thoughts from the past to control your future.
We need to take charge of our thoughts and throw away what doesn't feed our soul. The thoughts in our mind need our permission to be true. She allowed all the lies to become her truth, not knowing that she deserved more, or that her blessings were far greater than the burdens that she carried.
You must get your mind right!
" Get your mind off your problems and focus on
your blessings. Then look in the direction of
your dreams!"
-Kristen Butler
Peace, love & hugs!
Comments
Post a Comment