Loss

I spent yesterday with my dear friend helping her organize her mother in laws house as we prepare for an estate sale. We had a great day laughing and talking about life as we added to our piles of her mother in laws life. Once the piles were in order and the truck filled, we were able to sit down for lunch. Our conversation this time was about her mother who has been hanging on in hospice since December. But why, we questioned. This woman was an activist, a humanitarian, always a fighter for human rights. She was tired though and had stated months before that she wanted to go home. We both had our own scenario of why she was hanging on, but both of us had no real understanding of why. It's a riddle that we will never know the answer to.  I believe that's the way God wants it, so I just walk in faith and accept that.

Later that evening I received a text from my friend saying that hospice called and they didn't think her mother was going to make it. I responded with I'm sorry and I'm praying for you. I know that although we know in our heart that it's time for them to go - there's mixed emotions in all of it. Bottom line, loss hurts.

 
This morning I received the text that she passed away. My heart broke because I know that my friend is hurting. She knows it was time, but knowing that you won't see your loved one in the flesh leaves a hole in our heart. When my mother passed away I wondered if one day I would lose the image of her that I carried in my mind. I also wondered if I would forget the sound of her voice and the things that she said that made me laugh. Those things were important to me and I prayed that they wouldn't leave me. I'm happy to say 5 years later my memeories are still with me. I pray the same for my friend.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."