Skip to main content

My Gut

I've always listened to my gut. It has never steered me wrong, but this time I chose to ignore it.

I guess I was hoping my instincts were wrong. I wasn't up to another storm in my life, but here I go again.



I don't know the right words to say because I don't understand the battle. I've had a lot of shit come my way in life, but it never pushed me to becoming an addict. It's difficult for me to understand the time and energy put into fixing oneself  to not fight hard enough to stay there. Not every day will be a good day - that's life, but you can't allow the bad days to take you back to that dark place you fought so hard to get out of.


As selfish as it sounds I'm not sure I want to fight this war again. It's really not my fight anyway, but I have been enlisted because of the people that will be effected from the choices that were made. I now have to make a choice if I suit up or walk away. I hope it's short lived, but either way I do know that this battle will not take place in my home. 

All I can do for me is keep the faith and keep moving forward in my life.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Have An Open Heart

As I was sorting through pictures this morning I came across pictures of my seven-year-old granddaughter with girls that she met for the first time on a 2 day stay in Prescott. I was drawn to the smiles on their faces and the love in their eyes. They met, accepted each other, and acted as if they had been lifelong friends. Oh, how I had forgotten about the innocence of a child. The color of skin, the size of a body, the structure of a face does not matter. They are ready to accept and love unconditionally until we and society teach them differently. There was nothing but smiles and laughter as they danced, made beaded jewelry, and ate. They made sure that they all were a part of whatever they were participating in. They cared about each other's feelings and made sure that everyone was having fun and was happy. Why is it that we grow to become so obsessed with appearance and behavior of others that we miss seeing the light or the struggles in others?  We're so q...
I shared with you how I had my son leave my home because he's not in a good place right now.  Yesterday he was sitting outside my home when I pulled up.  I asked him why he was here - Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful he's okay but I can't be an enabler.                                                                               He had a couple of reasons why he popped in, but I know the real one is that he thought no one would be home and he was hoping he could get in to eat, crash, and find something to sell at a pawn shop. As horrible as that sounds it's the reality of how a drug addict operates.                                                     ...

Fun At The Duce

The rain didn't stop us from having a great night at The Duce. The food was amazing, the DJ was fun, and I saw a lot of Arizona talent doing karaoke. One of the reasons I chose The Duce is because I love the ambiance. They have it set up with all the things that I grew up with...it's like a big playground for adults. The Duce is filled with ping pong tables, hula hoops, bean bag toss, punching bags, pull up bars, boxing ring, stationary bikes, foosball, karaoke, and a dance floor! There's also a little soda shop area if you want to grab a milk shake, and retail if you want something inspirational or vintage. Imagine a warehouse full of people of all ages having  old school fun.  Although we didn't get to enjoy the patio or order directly off the food truck due to the rain, it was a great night. After last night we decided it would be fun to do a family event there - the grandchildren would have a blast! Thanks again to everyone that came out in the rain, and to ...